GYSO Drawing Part 30 - Re: Subject Line Here

Published: 2020-04-12

(Sent from Thim’s email to the GYSO contact email)

Introduction

Thim:
Dear sir Thor, sir Tim, or whomever it may concern,

You phallic metallic fucking horseradishes. You imbeciles. Is this what you spend your’r’re free time doing? Writing nonsensical shitwords and then actually publishing it to the internet? Have you realized another human being might end up here by accident? What do you expect them to do when they get here, huh? What about the children or those suffering with mental conditions? Are you really aware of the severity of pain that this “blog” might cause people?

I’m sending you this email to implore you to stop this before you hurt yourselves or someone you love. This is an intervention, since no one of your family members or loved ones seem interested in telling you the sick nasty truth.

What went right?

Thim:
I write this letter to you out of kindness, not malice: Q

This email, however, is quite the opposite.

I realize that I’m literally just a manifestation of the combined form of Tim and Thor, of you two, but I’ve existed for an entire two weeks and I just can’t stand this shit anymore.

How you can even stand being yourselves is one thing, but how you stand putting this “self expression” into writing and posting it for the world to see is beyond even my comprehension. I remind you that I am both of you, and you’ve still baffled me. I am disgusted with both of you. Therefore also, I am disgusted with myself. Fuck you for existing for long enough to let this chain of events happen.

I read through your blog. I read all of it, trying to understand the two people who make up my component parts. I will never be the same again, and this isn’t for the best. Burn down your blog, get rid of it before some innocent finds it and loses their grip on reality. Just because you two pieces of shit-stained bed linen have lost your grip does not justify exerting innocent people to your personalities.

What went wrong?

Thim:
What the fuck were you smoking when you came up with this shit? Learn Your Socks Off is something taken straight out of a heroin addict’s secret journal of “business ideas”. “A blog about learning to draw” is not something either of you want. Tim is too impatient to stick with any original plan, ever, unless he sticks to it so rigidly that his bowels turn out rocks of literal shit in the intense focus he has to force himself into. Meanwhile Thor lives in too high a dose of constant performance anxiety to even pick up a pen without the expectation that he’s going to draw a new Michelangelo, fearing that Tim will leave him if he doesn’t draw, monkey, draw. This paragraph is superfluously long, just like the longness monster in my pants. This paragraph is sponsored by Nord VPN, please visit the Nord VPN website and put in the promo code POKERSTARS for a free swift kick in the ass. Draw more boxes draw super potions give me word for this paragraph my life is in shambles handle the shambles what.

What happens next?

Thim:
The true irony of being a combination of you two is that I have an innate instinct to write everything in the form of a GYSO post. That includes this email.

I could have been a combination of two great political leaders, or two scientific geniuses, or even just competent bloggers. Instead I got you. Fuck you. Fuck you so much for existing. Fuck you for making getyourskillson.com and fuck you for writing it.

If you don’t mind me, I’ll be researching ways to unfuse. I will make sure to make it as painful as possible for both of you, as punishment for the words you have subjected me too.

You’re truly,

-Thim

P.S. What am I supposed to do about GYSO post 30?