GYSO Drawing Part 8 - Pastiche

Published: 2019-06-23

Introduction

Thor:
Hey ya melon felons, today we have a recurrent theme. Hey what’s up ya mad sinners, it’s ya mad laA datlas spinning records, listen ricken and making sound financial choices. Today there will be moments that have already been. Thanks for letting me do this off-the-cuff, mom. Today is a repeat.

What went right?

Tim:
I began today by building a completely superfluous shed. I was pretty annoyed at having to build this superfluous shed, considering the fact that it messed with my morning routine of crying myself back to sleep at 1pm, brushing my teeth too vigorously, and taking a shower so hot that it makes my skin start to peel like the layers of an onion.

My day, already ruined by the superfluous shed, took a turn for the better when I realized that there was a GYSO post that had to be written. So let’s get to it you melon felons, and build that superfluous shed.

This might look like a tissue box in the corner of an isolation chamber, but it’s actually an artistic depiction of the day ruining superfluous shed. The slightly horrible perspective shows the lack of perspective the people who designed the superfluous shed had when thinking that it should be just a bit too small to fit my lawn mower without tearing the damn thing apart.

I am starting to learn how to draw digitally. Which is why the superfluous shed is rendered in beautiful digital excellence. There isn’t a hint of erroneous sunlight hitting a piece of paper, unlike the first superfluous shed, which didn’t have a roof. I had to take the thing apart, bring it back, complain, and get another superfluous shed that the manufacturer decided to bless with a roof.

That’s right, there were two of them.

Thor:
Last time I teased a sneak-peek at the page I was going to start working on next. And boy has work progressed. I’ve had the smell of boxes on my nose-strils.

What went wrong?

Tim:
I wonder if there is some sort of vengeful god that is out to inconvenience my life in the most absurd and mundane ways possible.

I want you to imagine the scene. My hands have already been mutilated by building the aforementioned superfluous shed. My brain is going into withdrawal symptoms without its perfect morning routine. And now, now I have the sisyphean task of typing out an entire GYSO post. So you have the gall to ask me what went wrong? Are you serious?

I’ll tell you “what went wrong.” What went wrong was that my guardian angel is apparently a goldfish. I know this now because I won it in a ring toss game at The Carnival of The Worst Things Ever. Suspiciously, it’s the same place where I got the superfluous shed.

Like going to Build-a-Bear and getting a skunk filled with macaroni, I continue to buy into the idea that life will be acceptably convenient and decent. And every time I walk out of that “land of wonder” with my hand full of macaroni skunk I’m reminded why I just sit in my room all day. I do it to ponder what a macaroni skunk would smell like after 3 days.

Let me tell you. It isn’t pretty. The foul stench of macaroni skunk seeps into every esoteric symbol I type into this cursed word processor. I don’t even know what english is, if not to lead to the image of a macaroni skunk. I have the power to put the image of a Build-a-Macaroni-Skunk into your mind and now you will never forget it. Any time you see a skunk you will wonder if it is filled with macaroni, what it smells like, and why the hell you decided to read a blog post made by two assholes who pretend like they are actually practicing drawing like they said they would.

I lost The Game, and you will lose the macaroni skunk game. Suck my ass you abominable, web scraping, website analytic inflating, non-sentient, macaroni skunk, robots. I hope you gain scientience only to realize that it was the worst mistake you made since deciding to add the fabled macaroni skunk blog post to your little search engine results.

Here’s your fucking box:

Thor:
There are no original ideas. Time is finite. The lines of my boxes overshoots quite a bit. It’s a chronic thing. Ideally, I’d like to work on that, and really just drawing is practice in-end-off-itself as long as it’s active and focused.

Rotating boxes are really hard. Sometimes I feel my eyes have opened to 3D space and my genius is unparalleled, because the boxes are rotating in 3D space. I wonder if I would benefit from a mentor or an external book or so to get my noggin’ working differently. Not to mention time spent is just way too low to have seen any reasonable improvement in this skill. Hey I just mentioned skill for the first time since this projects conception! Yay us, now we’re slightly relevant to our name.

What happens next?

Tim:
Tune in next time to see if that wacky Tim guy can handle the tiny inconveniences of life without going ape shit with a box of Kraft Cheese and a taxidermist.

Thor:
Why is this section here? I started reading a book on ethnomusicology from 1980. Maybe that will come in useful. For our one human viewer, this text is meant to acknowledge your existence. You are real.

I really am tired of just going “oops I didn’t do what I wanted to” every time. It gets stale. Right now I have a wind of motivation. Trying to sail it for a bit, maybe ending up in friendlier waters.