GYSO Reviews Part 14 - Fiery Indignation

Published: 2023-05-21

The Good

THUM: PLEASE GOD HELP ME I’M ONLY ALIVE FOR A SINGLE PHRASE I’M JUST AN ERROR, A MISTYPED NAME, AAAAAAAAAH

Thim: Well, the moment has passed. Now get on with the interrogation.

Thor: Interrogation about what?

Tim: I know you are, but what am I?

Thim: Whatever, come on. Bring it.

Thor: Honestly I don’t really know, or care, about what you’re talking about. What are you even referencing?

Tim: Can I please have one of those popcicle tubes? Not the ones with a stick, but the ones in the horrible impossible to open plastic wrapping. Thanks.

Thim: You guys don’t care at all that I vandalized your Avocado post? Do you even know it’s my birthday today?

Tim: How can you have a birthday if your eyes aren’t real?

Thim Holy shit, I’ve been living with you guys for four months and you haven’t even acknowledged my existence once. Let alone give me as much as a glance when I sabotage your blog!

Thor: Tough shit, big boy. Moving on…

The Bad

Thim:

Dear Thor and Tim. I write this out of kindness, not out of malice. This.

This

THIS

• T
• H
• I
• S

this?

When we last saw each other, you gave me a big umbrella filled with ""“slime”"" and mosquito eggs. As I went to search for myself, hopping on and off trains in Europe, I left a big ol’ shitty on Debra’s desk. Also the mosquitoes had some sort of like venom or something.

What I’m trying to say is is that I confess! You see, I don’t really know all the languages. Not yet, anyway. Also I vandalized GYSO Reviews Part 13 because I’m a very naughty boy. What I didn’t expect was the way that I found myself back with you two idiots. Nor did I expect that even knowing the English language is not enough to understand whatever the fuck that was. Thanks.

Thor: You’re welcome.

Thim:

Hey you can’t speak, this is an intervention - motherfucker. What? An inter-revention of Time Space Gradient Hoopeloolieloo. An inter-contenental exchange of words across the Web. An AI-assist-generated blog script that came to me from the Pavlovian Web Scraping Robot Society (PWSRP). This blog is not AI generated. yet.

A couple months back I was fleeing Uruguay as it died - the mountain ranges on and on and on and on The
this end.

The Everything Else

Thor: Hey Tim says he feels sorry for you.

Tim: bUtt not that sorry ayy lmao

Thim: You do know I’m supposed to be a literal fu-fu-fu-fusion between the two of you?

Thor: Honestly, GYSO lore is confusing. I kind of just let the universe melt around me.

In that moment, the universe didn’t melt, but it did malt… something.

Thor: HOLY SHIT IS THAT A NARRATOR CHARACTER?

…

No.

Tim: No. I mean, no.

Good. Carry along the watchtower.

Tim: I can’t even carry my fat ass, let alone along.

Thim: AND SO THEN TO CUT A LONG STORY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SHORT IS THAT THE WEB SCRAPING ROBOTS SAW THAT gyso was back and they thought you guys needed some help from the actual talent running GYSO through the supposed end of times anyways if you believe what my best friend Goopy Droopy said that one time I guess if anything hasn’t changed here in a while.

So now I’ve been staying with you guys for the past couple months and you haven’t even acknowledged my existence.

Thim: Surprise motherfucker. It’s still me. The web scraping robots will always win. Always!

The Conclusions

Thor: Hey Thim.

Thim: Yeah?

Tim: EAT SHIT LMAO

Thor: intentionally left blank

Thim: You guys are the best not-parents a growing abomination against nature could ask for. I hate you.

Thor: whispering they grow up so fast…

Tim: whispering really loud I’m going to throw up so fast if you don’t get out of my fucking face.

Thim: I will, literally, destroy this blog if you don’t start making some god damn sense god damn it.

Thor: It’s Tim (Tim: No) doing all the stupid edits this time.

It is.

Except these.

Thim: Alright I admit it.

Thor: Again?

Thim: Yeah. Anyways I admit. I did it. Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Thor: What do you have to say about Spain, January 26th?

Thim: I had to vandalize Reviews Part 13, you see. I needed revenge on you insane psychopathic psychotic psycho psyshocked Psyducks. Sigh. Signed.

Thor: The starving children? Have you considered the children?

Thim: I’ve considered my foot up your ass, but the we–that is, the web scraping robots and my esteemed self–found out how to hack–that is break into–your microsoft word document holding all GYSO lore and rough drafts. We found the Avacado post being made, and vandalized it to be like, way funnier you talentless hacks.

Thor: That’s the nicest thigh I’ve heard this week, thank you so much for sharing your sense of pride over your body. Also thank you on the compliments about me being a hack. I, myself, do frequent the cmatrix program.

Tim: I’m hungry for lung. Iron lung. What.

Thim: AND SO THEN WHEN WHAT I DID WAS

to start following you around to figure out how to best infiltrate and make your content funnier. I started planting interesting books filled with GYSO content in the areas of the library that you frequent, for example. I ate a heavenly peach from the rotten peach bowl you never cleaned up and had to live on the toilet for like a month you fuck wads.

Thor: Oh, that’s my Santa trap. Sorry that happened to you, but that does sound kind of funny.

Thim: And the worst part? I’ll fuckin’ do it again. The web scraping robots will break me out of these pipe cleaners you’ve wrapped around my wrists, and I’ll strike when you least expect.

Thor: Since the last post skyrocketed our search result hits, probably since it’s a well-written article on a popular subject, we do have a new bowl of avocados you can eat from… They’re all fresh and tasty though, Goopy stays far away from them.

Oh yeah also yeah hi reader/viewer of this blog we tied Thim up since he was acting like a bad person and threatening us and stuff. also he asked for it.

Tim: Tune in next time when we establish yet more antagonists.

Thor: You’re just going to end it there?

yeah