GYSO Reviews Part 15 - The Power of Friendship

Published: 2023-06-04

The Good

Tim: You won’t get away with this, Thim!

Thor: You won’t get away wi… Hang on…

Thim: You know what? I’m done with this.

THIM BREAKS OUT OF HIS PIPE CLEANER HANDCUFFS.

Tim: No way! Those were unbreakable!!

Thor: He better not get the SKILL, son!

Tim: Thor! What do the web crawlers say about his cringe level?

Thor: Oh my god! I can’t believe this…!

Tim: Answer me damn it!

Thor: It’s unbelievable!!

Thim: I’m leaving. Bye.

Thor: They’re saying it’s hella cringe, bro!

Tim: WHAT?? There’s no way that can be right!

THOR SHOWS LOTS OF NUMBERS SCRAMBLED ON A SCREEN

Thim: You literally left the window open. I’m half way out of it.

Thor: Tim! Get into tactical battle stance!

Tim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THOR BRINGS OUT A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH FROM ONE OF HIS POCKETS

Thor: *muffled* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

THIM CRAWLS OUT THE WINDOW, LANDING ON THE PRETTY PINK PETUNIAS

Tim: AAAAAAA HE’S GONE! AAAAAAA

Thor: Goopy! Did you see where he went?

Goopy Droopy: Dear friend, I do believe our chum, Thim, has escaped through the window. He has crushed my petunias, as was foretold.

Thor: WHAT?! Then we must hurry to stop this evil!

The Bad

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Tim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAlright I’m done powering up. With the strength of a thousand butterflies flapping AK-47s I shall hunt down Thim to the ends of the Earth!

THOR IS RUNNING WITH HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK

Thor: With my super ultra fast speed

Thor: I can finish sentences before I finish them.

Thor: Which causes some formatting issues.

Thim: Can I just walk through this gate? Is it even locked? What’s going on here?

A NEIGHBOR WALKS BY AND SAYS HELLO

Neighbour: Hello! let me open that gate there for you, honey.

Thim: Eat shit you old hag!

Neighbour: Sure will! Thanks for asking, how about you?

Thim: Gross! Bye!

Thor: Oh no! He’s getting awaaaaaaay! I must take chase! Super Speed Storm Savage Suspicious Serendipity, ACTIVATE!

WITH A SLIDE TO THE LEFT, SLIDE TO THE RIGHT, THEN A SPIN ON A PIKE, THOR TRANSFORMS INTO SLIGHTLY FASTER THOR, WHO IS WEARING A COOL MOHAWK WITH LIKE WAY TOO MUCH GEL AND ALSO HE HAS SPIKE ARMCUFF THINGS AND IS WEARING A SUITABLY TIGHT BLACK TANK TOP AND A COOL BLACK VEST WITH TACTICAL SPIKES ON IT. THOUGH HE HASN’T TRANSFORMED INTO SOMETHING REALLY EMO, OR GOTH, IT’S JUST A SLIGHTLY HARDER, RELATIVELY ATTRACTIVE, MORE ROCK KIND OF VIBE. YEAH THAT’S REALLY NICE. HIS NAILS ON HIS RIGHT HAND ARE PAINTED A MATTE GREEN, BUT HE DID THAT EARLIER DURING THE DAY SO THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS COOL TRANSFORMATION SCENE, BUT IT’S STILL VISUAL INFORMATION THAT SEEMS RELEVANT TO SHARE.

Thim: What the fuck are y

Thor: Yeah you can stop talking right there that’s my superpower.

Thim: … … … Wh

Thor: Yeah since you can’t finish any sentence you’re basically handicapped in this story. I’m the captain now.

THOR WALKS OVER TO THE GATE WHERE THE NEIGHBOR AND THIM ARE, EASILY CATCHING UP TO THEIR ENEMY

Thim: Do you really think it would be this e

The Everything Else

Thor: I really do. Get ready for battle, you foul beast!

COOL ACTION MUSIC

and thus the ultimate fight began

Thor: Is that a narrator character again?

No. It really isn’t.

Thor: Alright. Tim! Combo move!

Tim: C- C- C- COMBO MOVE!

TIM DOESN’T ACTUALLY MOVE HE’S STILL IN THE HOUSE WITH GOOPY DROOPY. THEY ARE EATING POPCORN

Thim: Alright, I guess I’ll just use something that isn’t speech to bea

Thor: Yeah? LIKE WHAT?

THIM PUNCHES THOR IN THE STOMACH

BY THE WAY THOR’S POWER IS SUPER CONTRIVED BUT THIS IS HOW IT WORKS OKAY SO HE CAN CUT PEOPLE OFF WHEN THEY’RE TALKING I KNOW I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID AND LIKE YOU COULD DO IT BUT I SWEAR IT’S THIS CRAZY META POWER THAT MESSES WITH THE FABRIC OF OUR STUPID FUCKING ASS BLOG REALITY AND YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MOM THIS IS MY PASSION

Thor: Oh no! Is this how dying feels like?

THOR FUCKING DIES LMAO THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED IN THE HISTORY OF GYSO

Tim: God fucking damn it! Do you have any idea how annoying it is to resurect that asshat?? I have to do this whole emo song and dance and like catch paper on fire in my garage because fuck doing that in my room and you just killed him like you don’t even care about my feelings. What if I killed your co-hort and cost you like two hours of work? Huh? Ever think of that you phallic horseradish?

TIM THEN DOES THE IMPOSSIBLE BY RESURRECTING THOR RIGHT THEN AND THERE OVER THE COURSE OF TWO HOURS. NOBODY DOES ANYTHING ELSE DURING THIS TIME

Tim: And this is the part where we have to explain what just happened. So, because of the lore of GYSO, everything Goopy Droopy says about the future he smells is true, no matter what. So there was that one time he said only him and Thim would be there at the end of times. But Tim and Thor fusing together just becomes Thim, because that’s canonically what happened last time. We can’t have more than one thim, because Goopy only smelled one at the end times, and Thim is totally immortal so adding any more of them will add more to the end times. So to fix this, we just teleported Thim into the spot where Tim and Thor were, then un-fused them to make things workable from a story telling perspective. Thanks.

Thim: Oh hey it’s me lol.

Thor: To be fair as well, we could have properly fused into one, leaving only one Thim. Then found some way to unfuse later, but still before the end of times. Though I don’t think any one of us wants to manage that mess if we actually have to write it in the blog.

Tim: The end I’m done with this post fuck.