GYSO Reviews Part 24 - Pressure

Published: 2023-10-08

Thor: Hey. Today we’re reviewing pressure.

The Good

Thor: To me, pressure is that feeling when your mom doesn’t quite know how to tell you that she’s fine with you bringing home a guy, a gal, anyone else, or really at this point anything shy of roadkill to dinner.

Tim: “I’m going to have you for dinner. Not the sexy way either. We’re cannibals.” -Thor’s mom.

Thor: That’s what your mom… wait, my mom, said last night roflstomp.

Tim: What is the game with your highest play time on Steam?

Thor: Terraria. U? Do you remember people seriously writing “rofl” and “lmao rofl” seriously like ten years ago.

Tim: Terraria too, although Path of Exile is a close second. The reason I asked is because you wanted me to ‘prepare two questions about steam’ so I decided to be a dick and ask about the thing you obviously wouldn’t ask about. I still write ‘lmao’ unironically asshat.

Thor: Oh no you don’t understand. I predicted it. I just didn’t care to blacklist it or whatever cause you would find a way to bullshit around the technicality of how I asked the question.

Tim: Anyways. Pressure is pretty useful for that whole ‘technological progress’ thing our civilization does sometimes. If we feel like it. And don’t want to blow up someone and instead want to blow ourselves up because people making high pressure bombs with their testing of this pressure thing.

Thor: Eat my ass, that’s not how you spell “phenomenon”. I’m reading a book on those big A-bombs everyone keeps talking about.

Tim: Huh? Spelling what now? Are you okay Thor? Is this the onset of a stroke? Please don’t be I don’t want to do dark ressurection magic again on this damn blog.

Thor: government keep out.

The Bad

Tim: Second question about steam: Can you handle the pressure?

Thor: Which form of pressure? If you’re talking about peer pressure, of course I can’t. If that’s what you expected me to answer. Otherwise, I totally can, of course.

Tim: Peer pressure. Some kid at school is asking you to smoke dis blunt hell ya baby it’s that good shit right there right there if I do say so myself. What do?

Thor: Did you know that the Black Eyed Peas hit song “Let’s Get It Started” originally was called “Let’s Get Retarded”?

Tim: If feel like we’re not even talking right now. We already reviewd our relationship last time, we need to move past this and actually work together Thor.

Thor: i don’t know whato ure y mokis ing here buddy

Tim: Aaaand now he’s having a stroke. One sec guys I gotta do some more dark magic.

The Everything Else

Tim: He’s back! With only some moderate brain damage.

Thor: Anyways honestly I’ve been in that sweet 360 noscope smoke it like it’s hot situation and I literally left the party. I think they were hotboxing the balcony.

Tim: You did the trickshot ‘no’ maneuver?!?!?!?!? But only true masters of the nosmoke school of bitchcraft and wizzing can pull that off!

Thor: I have no idea how to spell that “maneuver” thing either, honestly. We ahould have designed this language better, I guess.

Thor: Looking back, I’m glad I stood by my values or whatever.

Thor: yeah so It’s been called to my attention that I put my name before every paragraph and I would just like to say to the haters, man-slayers, and weed players, that I really don’t think about it I’m just kind of bored.

Tim: I hate this blog.

The Conclusions

Tim: So do you have any real actual advice for dealing with peer pressure and sticking to your values when presented with the devil’s lettuce (and assorted accessories)?

Thor: what’s a devil lettuce?

Tim: Weed.

Thor: Yeah, that’s a no-go for me, there. Can’t help you. You can do something sensible, I guess. Trust yo self or something.

Tim: …? Fuck it. Next time on GYSO we’ll do something interesting for once.

Thor: hate to see you try, love to see you walk away ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

i’m so high rn