GYSO Reviews Part 9 - GYSO Reviews Part 9

Published: 2023-03-12

Tim:

Today we’re going to review this blog post. Yes, you’re right. Thank you.

The Good

Tim:

This section is pretty good. It’s The Good, even. Especially this section. This section being good, or Good with a capital ‘ood’ but my caps lock key was held down for those three characters. You’d think I did that intentionally, and you’d be right.

Why is this section so good? Good? Did I capitalize that last one on purpose or because it started a new sentence? Fuck English. Ain’t got shit.

The best part about this section? That it’s gOOD, with a capital ‘OOD’, which stands for Oppressive Oppulsive Disorder. Fuck English. Ain’t got shit.

Thor:

Is this a palindrome ? emordnilap a siht sI

What’s happening ? gnineppah s’tahW

Have we been elected into the metaverse of metaverse?

The worst part about writing a GYSO Review about GYSO Reviews is that, since we don’t really review things, what are we supposed to do with this?. I’d better get to work, somehow…

Macaroni!

Boo! You’ve already used various macaroni references in the blog, come up with something original.

I don’t like you, that’s what’s The Good about this.

Doesn’t make sense.

Do you want me to go full Krampus on this shit? I’m just trying to write some funny stuff.

But you’re not doing it very The Good’s.

It’s literally the name of this section. Except the fact that you misspelled it, so it actually isn’t literally the name of this section. Fuck you, me, for writing that, and also this.

The Bad

Tim:

Who had the idea for this section? It fuckin sucks brother, from another mother. I wanted to sneak in the word ‘moth’ in that sentence somewhere, because you can’t spell ‘mother’ without ‘moth’. But I realized I hate moths, especially ones that are alive and not thrown directly into the garbage where they belong. But then I realized that I could be better, I could reignite my canonical relationship with Big Tim the moth. Yeah, remember that one? From the Drawing post about beans? Fuck English. Ain’t got shit.

Give me 10 reasons why I shouldn’t just burn this website to the ground. Mostly because this section is bad. It sucks. It doesn’t fuck. Or maybe it does, but it’s like those really shitty smut fanfics that are more like unintentional comedy or straight body horror. I wonder what shitty fanfic authors do when they aren’t being awful at writing literally anything? Hmm… Probably being children and enjoying life before the decay of joy and innocence, now that I think on it.

Thor:

The bad really is the blog itself. What were we thinking with how we divide these posts? The Good, The Bad, The Everything Else, and a fourth section called The Conclusions? I’ll let you in on a little secret: It wasn’t me that came up with that. It wasn’t Tim either. We did it together, because this is a co-written blog. It should have been burnt to the ground when Tim brought me back to life in part 3 of Drawing.

The bad is the fact that we still sit here and write these posts one by one. When we could probably get an AI, or outsource some cheap labour (more often than we currently do) comma space comma space to produce this crap on the cheap.

The bad is the fact that me and Tim sit down together and write this stuff, meaning that I have to talk to Tim. We really should burn this blog to the ground. Do you know how hard it is to stay canonical with that guy? He’s always doing or saying something that contradicts earlier lore. I’ve been reading more of “Common Greetings” and it literally says that GYSO doesn’t use them. The greetings, that is. Thinking about it, it really is right. We greet people like they’re melon felons, and macaroni skunks, and don’t even pretend like that’s strange.

The Everything Else

Tim:

Okay. So since I’m doing this ‘meta review’ thing, that means I gotta do everything else here about the The Everything Else section, else the universe and everything else will explode. Fuck English. Ain’t got shit.

Every The Everything Else section sections off everything else from everything in the The Everything Else section. What else, but the The Everything Else section would things from the The Everything Else section section everything else from? What? Hello?

Thor:

What the fuck, man? Jesus “Big Erectus” Christ, that’s some word salad. I’m really trying not to interact with the strange man writing the other words, and I really don’t have to, so I won’t.

Actually isn’t his name Big Erectus Babe? Shouldn’t you say Jesus “Big Erectus Babe” Christ? I imagine his surname is Babe, so simply saying Jesus “Big Erectus” Christ will suffice to convey the person I am referring to. Though caononically, you would be correct that his name is “Big Erectus Babe”. On the other hand, his friends probably won’t refer to him by his full name either, that would be kind of strange if they did.

The Conclusions

Thor:

In an attempt to implement some sort of scientific rigor (mortis) to this blog, I will now conclude this blog post by giving you the abbreviation of it. To do this, I asked an AI to reduce the blog post to its most important components.

SHIT

Tim:

This blog is great and horrible, you’re great and horrible, and English can go fucking fuck itself. Ain’t got shit.